On a post clubbing bus ride a few days ago, one of my friends told me a story of how he’d arranged to do a bit of business on the side by sending some items to Nigeria to be sold through a very close family relative. We’re talking through the same uterus close’. This close family member executed his duties very well and stood to gain a very handsome commission out of the deal – which said friend hoped to make into a regular sideline that would benefit not only him but also the relative in question.
For whatever reason, the relative managed to spend all the money gained, both his share and my friend’s. The story was told to me in a very downcast and bitter tone, with my friend vowing, more or less between gritted teeth not to trust anyone in Nigeria anymore, not even his own family. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard such a story before, and not I suspect the last. In my own family, there are countless examples of similar heartbreaking experiences. We both wondered how his relative could be so short-term in his thinking, and I recalled some of the stories I’d heard of others killing the ‘goose that lays the golden egg’. Apart from the fact that my friend was hurt, emotionally by the incident, the sad part of this story is the discouragement that it gives to people trying in their own small way, to make a buck and help people along the way.
It seems to me that the ‘extended family’ benefits of the African family that we’re always shouting about, are much less robust than we would like to think, and in fact, is corrupt down to its core – isn’t it just an excuse for family members to take advantage of each other and exploit each other? As to the idea of following the Asian example and building a business empire along family lines, like the Tatas, et al in India, it seems like we might be too selfish to do that. When I was at university, one anecdote that a well-oiled Nigerian (forgive the pun) colleague told me, was that his father had resorted to employing eastern Europeans to mange his farms, such was his distrust of his fellow Nigerians as employees. It’s a disheartening model – not only for job creation but for developing that social element which seems in and among Africans to be in short supply – Trust.
2 comments:
I think the extended family system is usually only perceived as one of exploitation by the richer family member doling out the cash (okay, also by the wife of the son of a matrilineal who stands to lose everything upon his passing).
It is thought out here as the closest thing to Britain's Welfare State, although this isn't exactly spot on.
I completely agree about the trust issue. My own father employs a number of my cousins in his various businesses. One he fired for trying to dupe him and exploit his kindness. Another two remain though, one doing very well and the other restricted by a limited worldview.
I don't think my father trusts either of them (he trusts few people, really) beyond a point. But in their case its more to do with the arrangements between them, which is such that he is more likely to screw themm over than vice versa.
Just my two pesewas.
You're right, the 'grand extended family model' we keep harping on about is faulty. Years ago, my grandad came back from his various foreign postings and found that the huge chunks of land he had entrusted to his brothers to look after when he was away, were no more. It's ridiculous really, when the people who bleed a person dry are the very same ones who want handouts and favours.
I know I complain about things that give Africa bad press, but with issues like this, I think we need to stare the problem long and hard in the face and own up to the fact that in this regard, no one is holding us back but ourselves . . .
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